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David Lucifer

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Dealing with death
« on: 2004-11-18 23:47:03 »
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Re:Dealing with death
« Reply #1 on: 2005-02-08 05:01:00 »
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Very appropriate for me, as my godmother passed away on Sunday after a three-month battle with cancer.  I have always felt somewhat guilty about dealing with death, because I have always been detached from excessive displays of emotion.  I know that the person is gone, and I know they will not return, and yet, I cannot bring myself to be tearful or sad on my own.  Seeing others that are close to me being tearful or sad can sometimes make me that way, but I have always related to it differently.  I like to think that the person no longer has to suffer in this world and hope that they can rest in whatever plane of exsistence they are now in.

I did not like having to tell my godfather that I could not come into town for the funeral (I just started a new job and there is no way for me to be able to leave now), and at the same time I also wondered if I would have been able to say the same thing if it had been one of my parents.  At times like this I envy the people I know who boldly state that they don't care what others think of them, because it often seems as if that's all I think about.  So now I hope that my godfather doesn't think any less of me because I cannot return to my home state for his wife's funeral.  But at the same time, if he does, what could I do?
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