All my life I 've been a liberal pur sang ! I really don 't care where anyone sits, stands or hangs out; I really don 't care what anyone says, thinks or does ! Oh, of course, you got rules and obligations otherwise the world won 't get around and it is better sometimes to go with the flow than to run into a brick wall. But now my world rocked upside down and inside out. My daughter fell in love with a guy she met on the social site ' Facebook ' _ nothing wrong with that though ! The wife and I were happy for her and she looked happy enough, so we didn 't ask any question. But after a month of two we began to worry. She didn 't came over to visit; broke with everybody and everything she loved, changed employment, and we her parents couldn 't reach her_ we tried but we didn 't get any respons to our calls and requests to phone back. Six months we tried and all we got were a brief moments:- her time and in a place set ! We never could get her alone to express we worry and in particular her mother. Two months later is was all over_ she said she never ever wants to talks to us. She burned all her bridges, sank all the ships who were close to her, loved her and worry !
Now, a year later, I sit here trying to write this ( logic) stuff in order to get grip on things. I love freedom for anyone but where do I stand with my ideas of democracy, self-realization and liberalism if I loose my child in the process of expressing it !? She took those values for her own selfish benefit_ she's free, she does what she wants, where and with who when it pleases her, but what she have left behind are a lot of broken hearts , disappointed friends and relatives, an angry ol' fool ( me ) and a mother who now thinks she's the worst kind ! It is true, where freedom of one begins, it ends for another. My kid is free now, lives in all, with all what liberalism and democracy stands for, but at the same time we - her parents and friends -are trapped within the rules and obligations of that same liberalism. Now that she is free, and legally totally independent from us, we have no juridical ground to force her to talk to us, or even give a signal she's alive and well !?
Of course, we suspect that the guy she lives with now have someting to do with the ways my kid behaves and acts like she does now, but again we have no legally ground to force her to contact us. Now that the liberal ideas I live by, where I stand and fight for, still _ took my daughter away,I got problems with them? But I understand and realise that I got to respect her opinions and wishes, and yes so far that it hurts me deeply.
Is she a product of the kind of society we live in, we created to get our children safe !? Or does she express in full option the chances we laid out for her to be !? Do we not deprive her from her basic human rights in trying to get her back, do we not fill up her space with our ideas and problems and do we not take away the support laid down in our laws which guarantee her her freedom, her ways to express her herself and the ways she fills up her life and free- time !? Where is the truth, like Spinoza argues, in the idea that we do things/ handle/ exist in order to get a respons from the others, how THey see US !? We feel empathy for family, clubmembers and for those of our species we recognize far more as our own. So in order to be happy, my daughter made a radical choise_ she chooses for herself a life wherein she is the only standard to exist !
Doubts !? No ! Proud !? Yes ! Like father so daughter !