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Borat -- With Colbert Out? -- Backs 'Obamas' for President
« on: 2007-11-08 02:07:40 » |
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http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003669586
Borat -- With Colbert Out? -- Backs 'Obamas' for President
By E&P Staff
Published: November 07, 2007 3:20 PM ET
NEW YORK First, faux pundit Stephen Colbert disrupted the race for the White House (for about two weeks). Now another fake rightwing journalist, Borat Sagdiyev, has interjected himself into the race -- not by running for office, like Colbert, but by backing a candidate.
Welcome or not, Sen. Barack Obama -- or "Obamas" as Borat put it -- got the nod.
Borat, like Colbert, is pushing a new book, just published today. This scrapbook-like volume, which received a fullpage ad in The New York Times earlier this week to launch it on its way, carries twin titles: "Touristic Guidings to Minor Nation of U.S. and A." and "Borat: Touristic Guidings to Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan." You have to flip it over halfway through to read the other guidebook.
He is appearing at a Borders bookstore in L.A.'s Westwood tonight.*
His book, full of vulgarity and pictures of Borat/Cohen in his "sexy" bathing outfit, includes advice to Kazakhs on how to get their wife's cage through U.S. customs. For the U.S. visitor it claims to republish most of the maps and pictures of his native country that have ever existed.
Asked by Reuters who he backed for president, Borat (real last name "Cohen"), replied, "I cannot believe that it possible a woman can become Premier of US and A - in Kazakhstan, we say that to give a woman power, is like to give a monkey a gun - very dangerous. We do not give monkeys guns any more in Kazakhstan ever since the Astana Zoo massacre of 2003 when Torkin the orang-utan shoot 17 schoolchildrens. I personal would like the basketball player, Barak Obamas, to be Premier."
Earlier in the interview he had claimed people in his country, Kazakhstan, are smarter than Americans: "Kazakh peoples is definite has more powerful brains. Government scientist, Dr. Yamak have prove that our glorious leader, Premier Nazarbamshev have IQ of 412 and a brain that extend into most of his chest - it no surprise that he have never fail in complete any jigsaw puzzle. Since 93 percent of Kazakh people is direct relate to him within 3 generations, rest of population also shares this great intellects."
In his book, he comments on America: "Most people of US and A follows a religion named christianitys which makes worship of a man named Jesus Christs. I think he probably Kazakh since he was born in a shed with pigs and cows and his mother did not know who had make her pragnants."
E&P Staff
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*[Bl.] Perhaps he will drive there in a Hummer?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443453/quotes
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
<snip>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Borat: I want to have a car that attract a woman with shave down below.
Car Dealership owner: Well that would be a Corvette. Or a Hummer.
[starts showing Borat cars]
Car Dealership owner: We'll try to help you out here.
Borat: A man yesterday, tell me if I buy a car I must buy one with a pussy magnet.
Car Dealership owner: He means a car that women like.
Borat: Yes, but where do you keep this magnet?
Car Dealership owner: [interrupts] No. There's no magnet he just means the vehicle. Women love the Hummers.
Borat: Do this have a pussy magnet?
Car Dealership owner: No. The vehicle itself would be a magnet.
Borat: If I give you good price, will you please put in pussy magnet?
Car Dealership owner: Yeah but there's no-there's no such thing in this country as a-as a magnet.
Borat: If this car drive into a group of gypsies, will there be any damage to the car?
Car Dealership owner: It depends on how hard you hit them and all that.
Borat: *Hard*
Car Dealership owner: You might-if somebody rolls on the windshield, they could crack your windshield.
Borat: How fast do I need to go to guarantee I kill them?
Car Dealership owner: Uh-let me tell you something with this vehicle here probably doing 35-45 miles per hour will do it.
Borat: Great! When I uh, buy my wife, at the start she was uh, cook good, her vazhïn work well, and she strong on plow. But after three years when she was fifteen, then she become weak, her voice become deep: BORAT BORAT, eh, she receive hair on chest, and vazhïn hang like sleeve of wizard.
Car Dealership owner: Huh-Jesus...
Borat: How do I know that this will not happen with the car?
Car Dealership owner: Chevrolette guarantees you that with a warranty.
Borat: I like-a very much buy this Hummers, how much is it?
Car Dealership owner: Fifty-two thousand.
Borat: I am looking for something between um, six-hundred to uh... six-hundred and fifty dollars.
Car Dealership owner: We don't have any cars for six-fifty that you can buy. I might be able to sell you a wholesale car, a car with a lot of miles for seven-hundred with no warranty.
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