Lifestyles of the Rich and Fascist
The decadent whims of the world's wackiest despots
By Shana Ting Lipton
http://www.radaronline.com/features/2006/12/autocrats.phpThey're quirky, vibrant, and they march to the beat of their own military drums, when they're not off committing crimes against humanity. Since time immemorial, autocrats, absolute monarchs, dictators, and less than savory heads of state have shown a penchant for the unconventional and over-the-top, in both their personal lives and political careers.
This billionaire old-boys club has been increasingly under the spotlight as pop culture has melded with their pomp culture. Ugandan president Idi Amin's antics were chronicled in a recent film, The Last King of Scotland, and Trey Parker and Matt Stone have given despots like Saddam Hussein and Kim Jong Il their 15 minutes in the cartoon creations South Park and Team America. In the book Dictator Style: Lifestyles of the World's Most Colorful Despots (2005), Peter York played Robin Leach to a catalog of garish and grandiose dictator homesteads from Mussolini manor to casa Tito.
As Cuban Commandante Fidel Castro, rumored to be on his deathbed, is poised to release his self-titled autobiography in early spring, and Saddam Hussein's O.J.-like trial has ended with him sentenced to be hanged by the end of next month, the fascist fascination is sure to grow. To bring you up to speed, Radar has compiled a list of ten autocrats that rate not so much for their ability to govern with an iron fist but for their personal levels of outrageousness and eccentricity. After all, there's no business like show business ... except maybe a career in totalitarian political domination.
Col. Muammar Abu Minyar al-Quaddafi
COUNTRY: Libya
REIGN OF TERROR: 1969–present
HOW HE BROKE INTO THE BUSINESS: Military coup
Though significantly softened with age since he was public enemy No. 1 in the '90s, Muammar al-Quaddafi continues to rule Libya with flair. He is often clad in shimmering, metallic-flowing garb that could give M.C. Hammer a run for his money, but when he goes on tour, he doesn't opt for the pop-star treatment. Instead of checking in to lavish hotels, Al-Quaddafi has been known to go on the move in mobile homes and ultimately set up camp in a brown Bedouin tent.
And the military motif doesn't end there. Clad in chic, form-fitting camouflage fatigues, his personal bodyguards are made up of an all-girl Amazonian unit alleged to be virgins. The 40-femme corps of African beauties is also said to be highly trained in martial arts and weaponry. Clearly a ladies' man, Al-Quaddafi even hosted the Miss Net World beauty pageant in 2002, an event which boasted being the first in the world of its kind online. Though he may enjoy frolicking with the females and landscape design (he has ordered Tripoli residents to paint their rooftops green, giving the appearance of lushness to visitors flying in on planes), he's ultimately a man's man. An avid soccer fan, he purchased a 7.5 percent share of the Italian soccer club Juventus in 2002. With all of that under his belt, it's no wonder the autocrat inspired the English National Opera's production of Gaddafi [sic]: A Living Myth.
Sr. Gen. Than Shwe
COUNTRY: Myanmar (formerly Burma)
REIGN OF TERROR: 1992–present
HOW HE BROKE INTO THE BUSINESS: Right place, right time—was General Saw Maung's right-hand man when he resigned for health reasons
Myanmar's repressive Senior General Than Shwe may be responsible for persecuting his own country's ethnic minority groups, but he sure is fond of the French—especially when it comes to their haute cuisine. The epicurean dictator recently revealed that he had been taking cooking classes with a leading French chef in Rangoon. And his hobby seems to be effecting his political decisions. He recently told a crowd at Burma's premier military academy that the Burmese people "must raise Myanmar's standing in the world with gastronomic diplomacy," by learning from the French. And of course, like every social-economic system today, it all boils down to oil: "The Myanmar people must endeavor to cook with oil in better, more innovative ways." Shwe's plan: to organize cooking master classes for his generals.
French chefs notwithstanding, the Senior General has also been known to take his political cues from astrologists. Early this year, he is said to have been spooked by a negative astrological reading, causing him to abruptly order that the capital of Myanmar be moved from Rangoon to a dusty jungle town called Pyinmana.
Kim Jong Il
COUNTRY: North Korea
REIGN OF TERROR: 1994–present
HOW HE BROKE INTO THE BUSINESS: Followed in his pappy's footsteps when he died in 1994, and in 2003 Supreme People's Assembly reelected him chairman of the National Defense Commission—the nation's highest administrative authority
Dubbed "Li'l Kim" by political comedian Bill Maher, North Korea's tyrannical premier stands proud at five feet three inches tall, a stature that is often augmented by his most treasured accessory, platform shoes, and a clever, albeit retro-styled, pompadour/Elvis 'do. But what he lacks in height, he makes up for in libido. The notorious petite playboy has been known to recruit attractive high school girls with clear complexions from the countryside for harem-like purposes. They are apparently taught to sing and dance at the leader's private events. These "Joy Brigades," as they are called, are basically employed as sexual party favors. He is alleged to have told the male guests at one of his parties that they were entitled to any of the girls they could catch. This is purported to have turned into a scene of intoxicated older men chasing teenage girls all over Kim's seven-story "pleasure palace."
Some of the Dear Leader's other hobbies include watching NBA basketball and any of the films amassed in his 20,000-plus collection. Speaking of films, it was alleged by U.S. officials that Kim's movie mania delved into the criminal (and criminally insane) in 1978 when he ordered the kidnapping of South Korean actress Choi Eun Hee and her film director husband Shin Sang Ok. In a move that makes Hollywood deal making look stand-up and civilized, the couple, it was alleged, was forced to make films until they escaped in 1986.
President Kirsan Ilyumzhinov
COUNTRY: Republic of Kalmykia
REIGN OF TERROR: 1993–present
HOW HE GOT INTO THE BUSINESS: Won Kalmykia's first elections
He's the president, so it's always his move ... in more ways than one. Kalmykia's despotic ruler Kirsan Ilyumzhinov is not only president of his autonomous Russian republic but also of the World Chess Federation. Chess champion Gary Kasparov told the Wall Street Journal of this chess obsessed despot (or "chesspot"): "He runs the chess world in the same authoritarian way he runs his republic." And why shouldn't he? He is, after all, a descendant of Genghis Khan's Mongol hordes.
Though Ilyumzhinov has succeeded in making Kalmykia virtually synonymous with chess, he won the election, however, on promises to assist the agrarian class: though not quite forty acres and a mule, he promised that each shepherd would get a mobile phone.
Ilyumzhinov claims that his achievements in politics and chess were predicted by a Bulgarian astrologer named Vanga. Other inspiring consorts of his include the Dalai Lama, Vladamir Putin, and aliens. The latter, claimed the unconventional leader, abducted him during a 1997 trip to Moscow. He has told members of the international press that once aboard the mother ship he was flown to "some kind of star," after which the aliens, "put a spacesuit on me, told me many things, and showed me around."
President Aleksandr Lukashenko
COUNTRY: Belarus
REIGN OF TERROR: 1994–present
HOW HE BROKE INTO THE BUSINESS: Elected by popular vote
Belarus's dour leader, Alexander Lukashenko, may rarely be seen in anything more than a somber dark gray suit, but in his country he dictates style. For some reason the man known as "Europe's Last Dictator" is fond of legislating on the basis of beauty and fashion. The Belarusian bully has banned printed ads featuring foreign models such as Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell from appearing in his country—an attempt to promote local beauties. All models wishing to appear in an ad in the glorious nation of Belarus are required to provide proof of Belarusian citizenship.
We have all heard well-meaning beauty contestants chirp that they are trying to help the poor or save the world, but who takes them seriously? Europe's Last Dictator, that's who. In 2002, he decided that the beauty contests would be the best thing for his poverty-stricken nation and decreed that the government stage such events around his country. His goal: "The aesthetic and spiritual education of young people." Oh, and let them eat borscht.
Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah Mu'Izzaddin Waddaulah
COUNTRY: Brunei Darussalam
REIGN OF TERROR: 1967–present
HOW HE BROKE INTO THE BUSINESS: Filled his abdicated Daddy's royal shoes, as heir to the throne of a 600-year Muslim dynasty
Thank God the Sultan of Brunei's fortunes are based on his state's economy being almost entirely supported by exports of crude oil and natural gas. The mega-wealthy monarch is said to have owned between 1,000 and 5,000 cars—200 of which are Rolls-Royces. Ultimately a family-man style playboy, Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah is also fond of buying Ferraris and Bentleys and having them converted into station wagons. In 2003, Forbes estimated the eccentric leader's assets as valuing more than $11 billion (which has dwindled significantly since its initial estimation of $40 billion).
So, apart from contributing to the global depletion of oil, how has he spent his fortune? He rules from the world's largest royal palace—its rooms are purported to number more than 1,700, and he has thrown ostentatious fêtes like the one for his 50th birthday featuring entertainment by Michael Jackson. But the "party" is not always consensual: In 1997, the absolute monarch was sued by former Miss U.S.A. Shannon Marketic. Bolkiah is of course known for his Rick James-like penchant for holding Western ladies against their will—especially those of the beauty-queen variety. Marketic had alleged that he regularly imported American women as high-end prostitutes for six-week bouts of orgiastic partying and then would not allow them to leave the nation. Price of a lawsuit claiming sexual enslavement: $90 million. Being an absolute monarch with immunity against lawsuits: priceless.
Fidel Castro
COUNTRY: Cuba
REIGN OF TERROR: 1959–present
HOW HE BROKE INTO THE BUSINESS: Led a rebel army into a revolution against Fulgencio Batista
It's a wonder Cuba's longtime leader doesn't have beach front property in the Malibu colony, so beloved is he by the rich and famous. Jack Nicholson has called him a genius. Naomi Campbell said she was nervous and flustered meeting the man she called, "a source of inspiration to the world." And why not? El Commandante has always had the winning formula for their approval. He's an emblematic, larger-than-life trendsetter with a mangy beard, worn-out army fatigue jacket, and Montecristo cigars (though he has said he quit the habit back in the '80s). He's also a literary buff who has not only hobnobbed with scribes like Ernest Hemingway and Gabriel Garcia Marquez, but has even written his own book reviews for magazines. Like many celebrities he keeps odd hours (he is known to sleep just a few hours a night), eats mostly vegetarian, and has admitted to bedding over a thousand women.
According to one journalist, however, details indicate that when it
comes to his well-known visitors, the commander likes to watch—via hidden surveillance devices, that is. Among those allegedly caught on tape were Nicholson and Campbell, whose purported Cuban sabbatical with her travel companions, Kate Moss and Leonardo DiCaprio, was rumored to cause intelligence services to up the surveillance level to "priority." When Castro attempted to blackmail director Pedro Almodóvar, testified a former Cuban intelligence officer, the Spaniard was nonplussed, adding that everyone already knew he was a "maricón."
President Saparmurat Niyazov
COUNTRY: Turkmenistan
REIGN OF TERROR: 1990–present
HOW HE BROKE INTO THE BUSINESS: Elected president without opposition, 99.5 percent of vote; unanimously approved as president for life by the People's Council in 1999
Turkmenistan's totalitarian leader counseled his countrymen: "I watched young dogs when I was young. They were given bones to gnaw.... Those of you whose teeth have fallen out did not gnaw on bones. This is my advice..." Clearly, you don't need a survey of four out of five dentists to make such a decree when you're President for Life (a title bestowed upon the five-foot-tall premier in 1999). The resultant law would mortify rapper Flava- Flav: no gold capped teeth. Literally veering into fashion police territory, the dogmatic despot made fur hats and braided hair a legal requirement for all school girls, while young men are forbidden from growing long hair and beards. In addition, makeup is verboten for television presenters, as Niyazov has difficulty differentiating male and female newscasters.
One thing that's always in vogue in Turkmenistan is Ruhnama, a spiritual book written by none other than the dictator himself. It's required in school, a prerequisite for passing the drivers' license exam, and mandatory reading for adults on Saturdays. Once citizens have noted the latter day in the calendars they might want to continue their probe. Niyazov has apparently renamed the months on the official calendar, and in a telling example has named January after himself. But don't accuse him of being a total bad guy; he did rename April after his beloved mother.
King Mswati III
COUNTRY: Swaziland
REIGN OF TERROR: 1986–present
HOW HE BROKE INTO THE BUSINESS: As then-crown prince, succeeded where dad left off
In Spain they have Pamplona's running of the bulls; in Swaziland they have the Reed Dance. Instead of nervous townsfolk running through the streets pursued by temperamental bovines, 50,000 nervous, bare-breasted virgins frolic in a stadium before their hot-blooded King Mswati III. Since 1999, the event has operated under the guise of honoring maidenhood, but the not-so-secret secret is that it's more like The Bachelor meets The Real: World Denver for royals. Apparently the absolute monarch has used it as a way to select who will be his next wife. Last year, for instance, the then 37-year-old king chose a 17-year-old spouse from the line-up of tens of thousands.
But in taking on his thirteenth wife—a teenager—he violated his own law. In 2001, in an effort to stop the spread of AIDS in Swaziland, he imposed a five year ban on sex for teenage girls. The maidens were required to wear woolen tassels that signaled their purity oath. However, when the absolute monarch met his match at the Reed Dance, he ordered all chastity tassels be burned to mark the end of the ritual. Had he not made this decree he would have been—under his own law—fined one cow for the offense.
President Saddam Hussein (deposed)
COUNTRY: Iraq
REIGN OF TERROR: 1979–2003
HOW HE BROKE INTO THE BUSINESS: As deputy, forced cousin and then-President Ahmed Hassan al-Bakr to resign and took over
The Great Uncle, as Saddam Hussein has been nicknamed, has no choice but to say uncle. His 24 years as Iraq's dictatorial Baath Party leader wreaking havoc on his people, has earned him a death sentence, to be carried out before the end of this year. His political impact on his country might be summed up as, "Can't live with him, can't shoot him." But they can and will hang him.
His pop cultural legacy survives him, as do the spoils of his gaudy residences—machine gun-rigged trucks adorned with signs that read "Margaritaville," gold-plated guns and bathroom fixtures, and soft porn videos alongside Nora Ephron movies. Part maniac, part romantic, it would seem the 69-year-old fallen leader also leaves behind his literary legacy as the alleged anonymous author of a handful of books including Zabibah and the King, the tale of a monarch who falls in love with an unhappily married commoner. Like his romance-novelist peer, Danielle Steele, Saddam also saw his work adapted into TV mini-series format. When he wasn't busy penning a new book or oppressing his people, he also enjoyed partaking in his own breed of fishing. The deposed Iraqi dictator would lob hand grenades into a lake and command his attendants to amass the dead fish that floated to the surface.
Saddam will be survived by a wife, one son, three daughters, 11 grandchildren, and three unemployed body-doubles.