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Topic: Viva Jesus' General: Best Conservative Blog! Viva! (Read 709 times) |
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Blunderov
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"We think in generalities, we live in details"
  
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Viva Jesus' General: Best Conservative Blog! Viva!
« on: 2006-11-17 03:20:48 » |
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[Blunderov] Jesus' General looks to be the runaway winner of this much coveted award. Some samples from the flood of admiring (in a strictly heterosexual sense) comments:
#"The General is the greatest conservative leader that is processed through the tubes of the internets. Use "the Google" or follow the URL to find out why I love the Gerneral the way Jonothan loved King David.
http://patriotboy.blogspot.com
Posted by Nyarl21 | November 15, 2006 12:42 PM"
#"I don't recall the exact address, but there's a real holy macho man I likr to read:
Jesus' General. This guy has a manly writing style, understands that all liberals are Jesus-hating fags, and hates the French even more than Hitler! I think Jesus' General is an essential Conservative blog. Please google it and then make your decison. Thank you, men.
Posted by NukeEveryoneForChrist! | November 15, 2006 3:07 PM"
#"JC Christian of JESUS'GENERAL is the best CONSERVATIVE blog I've ever had read to me. As much as I adore John Assrocket's site, he lacks that macho 110% heterosexual touch, which is why I no longer wrestle with him in the buff. JC Christian is manly, not a Liberal Democrat Fag like Mark Foley, Ken Mehlman, Denny Hassert, and Ted Haggard.
Posted by Sean Hannity | November 15, 2006 4:04 PM"
#"Without question, Conservatives for American Values. They make Jesus' General look like a liberal site.
http://cfav.blogspot.com/
Posted by Jet | November 15, 2006 4:53 PM"
#"For true Conservatives, like John Hindracker:
http://www.TedHaggardSwallowsJesus.org
Much more hardcore than JC Christian's overly forgiving views on librel traitors! Great political cumshots! Photos of Santorum's dead fetus! And a special section on Terri Schiavo's writings that she emmitted to Jesus while she was in a coma...uhmm...asleep.
Posted by Knight of Columbus | November 15, 2006 5:00 PM"
#"Jesus' General--he's my general. Knowing how devious the French are, he comes up with wonderful witticisms:
"The French, they are a funny race--
They fight with their feet and fuck with their face."
Now THAT's manly poetry!
Posted by George Macacca | November 16, 2006 7:48 PM
#"Would it be possible to delete all the spam comments comming from Jesus' General? Freakin' liberals/progressibves/surrender monkeys playing games again this year.
Don't they have their own little surrender monkey awards?
Posted by William Teach | November 15, 2006 6:34 PM"
#"I would also like to nominate The Pirate's Cove http://thepiratescove.us/ by "William Teach". Though his jealousy at the General is predictable, it is also understandable.
Nothing says "100% Heterosexual Conservative" than fantasizing you are a pirate captain, spending long months on board an isolated ship full of swarthy men hoping to violenty conquer other's men ships and take them captive.
A quick perusal of his blog reveals a man who is not about to let reality alter his beliefs, and his efforts at Global Warming denial show a dedication that puts other conservative bloogers to shame. One could almost believe he'd be willing to fight in Iraq based on his support for Dear LEader's policies, but like a good conservative, he know where to draw the line in personal commitment.
Helllooooo, Sailor!
Posted by Cleetus | November 15, 2006 6:54 PM"
[Blunderov] Did I mention that when it comes to Spartan wrestling The General has no equal, oiled or unoiled? Cometh the hour, cometh the man. Ladies and gentlemen I give you General J.C. Christian (Patriot)
The General steadies the troops
"Attacked by a rival
Things are getting ugly on the Best Conservative Blog nominations thread:"
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Blunderov
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Posts: 3160
Reputation: 8.90
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"We think in generalities, we live in details"
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Re:Viva Jesus' General: Best Conservative Blog! Viva!
« Reply #1 on: 2006-11-25 07:09:14 » |
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[Blunderov] Tireless is his jolly decent quest to convert all moving things to Christianity with the minimum use of force, The General takes time out from the Holy Feast of Thanksgiving to steady the troops.
Oui Mon Capitan ! (In a strictly heterosexual, Biblically approved kind of way.)
patriotboy.blogspot.com
et tu, Goldy?
25 November 2006, 12:09:01 | Gen. JC Christian, Patriot
I'm very disappointed. I sacrifice over an hour of my Thanksgiving holiday to share my important conservative ideas with David Goldstein's radio audience, and Goldy responds, marginalizing my message by calling it humor:
"And as a connoisseur of humor, I would have hoped that it would not be necessary to appreciate a joke in order to at least acknowledge that it exists. But apparently, some people just don'’t get satire.
This sad reality was brought home yesterday when General JC Christian of the satirical blog Jesus' General joined me on 710-KIRO as I was subbing for Dori Monson. This was without a doubt the funniest hour of radio I've ever produced, an experience enhanced for the guys in the booth as the lines lit up with angry callers. One would think that when the General started talking about tazering shopkeepers who refused to say "Merry Christmas" and arming fetuses with tiny in utero handguns that nearly everybody would have realized that he was in fact joking. Yet the overwhelming majority of callers chose to take him at face value."
[Bl.] (In Which The Compleat Treachery of Goldy is Laid Bare.)
The satire gene
24 November 2006, 21:00:38 | Goldy
A few years back I shopped around a satirical guest column in which I suggested we could solve our education funding crisis by slaughtering our worst performing students and feeding them to their classmates. The editorial board of one major daily was intrigued, but after a few weeks of mulling it over they eventually rejected my “modest proposal” with the explanation that their readers “lacked the satire gene.”
I was deeply disappointed at the time by what I felt to be a display of editorial cowardice, but in the years hence I have grown to appreciate the editors’ healthy cynicism towards their readers’ own limits. For as I have repeatedly learned during my two and a half years of blogging, some people simply don’t get satire. Ever.
One might think by now that my regular readers would have grown accustomed to my penchant for persiflage, yet many, of both political persuasions, wouldn’t know irony if I dropped the “y” and savagely beat them around the head and face with it. For example, however outrageous or intentionally offensive my attempts at satire may be, accusing a sitting state senator of “fucking pigs” is most definitely not libel, nor is it fair to characterize as “hate speech” a proposed initiative to exempt Christians from our state’s anti-discrimination laws*. And when I urged that all extraordinary efforts be used to save a critically ill Rev. Jerry Falwell, no matter how painful or intrusive — to the point of keeping his brain alive in “a jar of nutrient-rich fluid” — well… that was not, as one angry reader conversely described it in an email purportedly copied to the FBI, a “terrorristic [sic] death threat.”
It was a joke.
And as a connoisseur of humor, I would have hoped that it would not be necessary to appreciate a joke in order to at least acknowledge that it exists. But apparently, some people just don’t get satire.
This sad reality was brought home yesterday when General JC Christian of the satirical blog Jesus’ General joined me on 710-KIRO as I was subbing for Dori Monson. This was without a doubt the funniest hour of radio I’ve ever produced, an experience enhanced for the guys in the booth as the lines lit up with angry callers. One would think that when the General started talking about tazering shopkeepers who refused to say “Merry Christmas” and arming fetuses with tiny in utero handguns that nearly everybody would have realized that he was in fact joking. Yet the overwhelming majority of callers chose to take him at face value.
Of course, talk radio callers, just like blog commenters, are a tiny, nonrepresentative segment of the larger audience, so I remain confident that the majority of listeners got the joke. But if not, who cares?
My job as both a radio host and a blogger is to engage the audience, and it doesn’t really matter how I do it. If the audience is laughing, that’s great. If the audience is enraged, that’s okay too. As long as they’re listening to me, they’re listening to the ads, and that after all is KIRO’s business. And oh yeah, as long as they’re listening to me they’ll come away better informed, whether they like it or not… and that after all is my business.
Everybody wants to be liked. But I’ll settle for people just tuning in.
*
http://www.horsesass.org/?p=1668
Say “no” to preferential treatment of Christians
by Goldy, 05/26/2006, 12:34 AM
I have an idea for an initiative, and I was hoping some qualified attorney in my audience might be willing to help me draft the text. The idea is simple: I would like to amend RCW Chapter 49.60 to make it legal to discriminate in housing, employment, lending and insurance… against Christians.
As a Jew, I find the so-called “Christian lifestyle” offensive, and contrary to the teachings of the Torah. The Lord commanded Moses, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me,” and yet the Christians not only worship that Jesus guy, they’re constantly praying to Saint This, or Saint That, and the Blessed Virgin Mary of Whatever. I mean… what the hell is up with that?
That savior-on-a-stick symbolism is kind of gross, holy communion seems downright unsanitary, and transubstantiation? Don’t get me started — the whole eating your god thing just weirds me out. But then, what do you expect from a religion in which the end of the world is considered a good thing?
And then there’s all that pork. That’s just plain wrong. Except for bacon, which is delicious… and of course Chinese food. Anything in a Chinese restaurant is kosher.
The point is, I’m an American, and thus it is my right to be intolerant of all those who are different from me or who challenge my preconceptions or who make me feel uncomfortable in any way. Christianity is wrong; the Torah says so. And so I certainly wouldn’t want a Christian teaching my children or coaching their sports teams… or having anal sex with that nice gay man who lives next door.
Now I know what some of you may be thinking: discriminating against Christians is not “politically correct.” But if we let Christians take out mortgages or pay insurance premiums, we’re just heading down that slippery road towards normalizing their disgusting behavior. Next thing you know they’ll be putting Christmas trees in the public square, or singing Christmas carols in the public schools, or going door to door, recruiting our children to join their freakish, cannibalistic cult.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Christians. Especially the shiksas. In fact, I love them so much that I want to change them, by helping them abandon their abhorrent lifestyle. And change they can, for unlike race or gender or sexual orientation, Christianity is a choice. After all, I don’t know any ex-homosexuals… but I know a helluva lot of ex-Catholics.
Clearly, our arrogant legislators don’t agree with my anti-Christian stance, but this is a Democracy, and thus we the people deserve the right to vote on whether Christians should be denied their rights. So please contribute to my initiative campaign, and join me in saying no to preferential treatment, no to quotas, and no to church weddings.
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