YOU KNOW ME? DON'T BANK ON IT

YOU KNOW ME? DON'T BANK ON IT

By JOHN CRUDELE
http://www.nypost.com/business/24997.htm

June 1, 2004 -- THE son of Jonas Savimbi, a rebel leader in Angola, recently e-mailed me with this sad story.

It seems that before his father was "short" (sic) dead on Feb. 25, 2002, by the opposing army, the old man had "transferred the sum of $16 million through a security company in South Africa to Europe."

Members of the family have been trying unsuccessfully to fly to Europe from their current home in South Africa to claim the money, but they are having visa problems.

The family was so desperate to get the $16 million that it was willing to give me 10 percent if I would just let them transfer the money into one of my bank accounts.

"We have never met, but I want to trust you and please do not let us down when this fund finally gets into your account," said Sonny Boy Savimbi. "Please treat this as confidential."

That is so nice - and me, a complete stranger!

OK, tell me you never wanted to answer one of these scam e-mails. Me too - so I did.

I had my choice between Savimbi; Andemeh Mupesa, wife of Ndoga Mupesa, who needed to get 25.5 million euros out of Dubai; or Uche Kobo, son of the late Chima Kobo, who is a student in Lagos and seems to be stuck with $20 million that he'd like to share.

I decided to give my business - or should I say the business - to the Savimbi clan.

The negotiations - in abbreviated form and fractured English - went like this:

Me: "I am sorry to hear about your troubles and would like to help."

Savimbi: "Thanks for your response. All I want from you is to assist me and my family to claim our fund and invest it in your country.

"So scan and send a copy of your international passport or driver's license with your tel/fax number and address so that I can forward them to the security firm in Europe where the fund is currently secured making you the beneficiary."

Me: "Am I allowed to send you a copy of my passport? Is that legal?"

Savimbi: "Thanks again for your mail. This transaction is 100 percent risk free and legal. Immediately I receibed (sic) the copy of your ID I will forward it to the security company before you can then contact the company and make the claim of my fund.

"Hope to hear from you soonest."

Me: "My friend Dan has a passport. Can he get involved in this also? He's desperate for money. In fact, I have a number of friends who might be interested."

Savimbi: "Hope to hear from you soon and please keep this transaction secret and confidential as the lives of my family is (sic) at stake here in Africa."

Me: "Will I need to report this money to my Internal Revenue Service? These people are such pests. They'll just spend it anyway."

No response. Days pass.

Me: "Why have I not heard back from you?"

Savimbi: "My Dear Friend. Why are you acting? Kindly scan and send me a copy of your ID, phone and fax immediately so that we can proceed."

Me: "I will do so within the next two days. I have to get my scanner working and get the passports of two friends. I hope this isn't something crooked."

Me: "I sent you a couple of passports." (Which, of course, I didn't.) "Did you get them? When can I get my money?"

Me: "Did you get my documents?" (It's been a week. Apparently Mr. Savimbi doesn't want to play with me anymore.)

Me: "Dear Sir: I am afraid I have decided not to do business with you. I can be patient no more, so I have decided to deal with Uche Kobo instead. Hope you get another sucker."

The funny thing is, Mr. Savimbi - or whatever his name really is - probably would have sent me a check. Or, at least something that looked like a check.

Peter Hampton, with a loosely organized group that calls itself the Internet Police, says there are a couple variants of this scam. In one, "Savimbi" might have promised me a down payment of $5,000 but "accidentally" mailed me a $20,000 check.

He'd then ask me for $15,000 back. Before his fake check clears - which it ultimately wouldn't - he'd already have my legitimate check for the overpayment. But "Savimbi" wouldn't just keep my $15,000 refund: Because he'd then have my bank codes, he would empty my bank account.

And what about my passport? It might go to terrorists, but probably not. "Savimbi" likely would have used it to make false travel documents and sell them for $100 apiece - big money in his country.

Most of these scams are being run out of Nigeria. Before long, somebody on a Manhattan street corner selling two-for-$10 watches would be using my name.