John Kerry's Straight Talk
http://www.observer.com/pages/world.asp

"We're all God's children. And I think if you were to talk to Dick
Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, she would tell you that she's
being who she was. She's being who she was born as. Which is a
lesbian. All of us need to feel comfortable being who we are, even
if someone happens to be a lesbian, which is what Dick Cheney's
daughter is. Even if a young woman prefers to have sex with other
women, like Dick Cheney's daughter does, she should feel
comfortable. Being a lesbian. This really underscores the problem
with the American health care system. It's not working for the
American family. And it's gotten worse under President Bush
over the course of the last years. Especially if you're a lesbian,
like Dick Cheney's daughter. Let's say you're a lesbian, like Dick
Cheney's daughter, and you need to see a doctor because your
partner - let's say she's a bull-dyke - say one of her cats bit you.
So you're a lesbian with a cat bite - I'm sure at some point in her
life, Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, was bitten by
another lesbian's cat - maybe they were having a sort of lesbian
party, talking about how awful men are, how they want to castrate
all men, and one of the bull dyke's cats got overstimulated and
lunged at Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, and so Dick
Cheney's daughter, being a lesbian with a cat bite, needs to see a
doctor. So she and her bull dyke hop in their Subaru, they've got
the Melissa Etheridge playing, or those Indigo Girls, as they drive
to the doctor, but then they find out that under George Bush's
health-care plan, a lesbian like Dick Cheney's daughter will have
a hard time being reimbursed, so then you have an angry lesbian
on your hands, a steaming mad dyke, not even a cup of
chamomile tea is going to calm this lesbian down. Now I respect
chamomile tea - I was raised a Catholic, I grew up a Catholic, I
was an altar boy, and we probably had some of those pissed-off
lesbian types coming to church, though I don't know if Dick
Cheney's daughter, the lesbian, goes to church, if she puts on a
really nice flannel shirt and goes to church, or if instead she takes
part in lesbian, or pagan, rituals - orgies, I guess some people call
them - but I'm sure that when she went to the next lesbian ritual,
after the cat bite, Dick Cheney's daughter told the other lesbians
about the cat bite and how she couldn't get reimbursed by the
insurance company - not that she could see their faces, because
from what I understand, at these lesbian rituals they all wear
hoods of some sort, and there's usually a mandolin or something,
music playing, because lesbians like to dance with each other... and
some of them probably look very much like men, now I don't
know if Dick Cheney's daughter is one of those mannish type of
lesbians, or if she is more the feminine type who enjoys sex with a
mannish woman, but as a very gay lesbian, I'm sure Dick
Cheney's daughter was wearing the latest lesbian fashions, though
presumably she'd have a bandage on the cat bite, a bandage which
her bull-dyke lover probably put on, so you've got a room full of
very angry lesbians in hoods, a few of them playing the mandolin,
or flutes, now my faith affects everything I do and choose, there's
a great passage in the Bible that says, 'What does it mean, my
brother, to say you have faith if there are no deeds?' Faith without
works is dead. And I think everything you do in public life has to
be guided by your faith. Now I'm not saying that Dick Cheney's
daughter, who is a lesbian, burned a Bible at this ritual - it's
possible another of the lesbians, who are friends and probably sex
partners of Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, burned the Bible, it
was probably dark and hard to tell which of the very angry
lesbians tossed the Good Book into the flames. But the first and
most important thing is to start creating jobs in America. The jobs
the President is creating pay $9,000 less than the jobs we're
losing. And this is the first President in 72 years to preside over an
economy in America that has lost jobs - 1.6 million jobs. Take 5
percent of that, and you've got 80,000 lesbians out of work, very
angry lesbians, could be on the brink of a riot, spurred on by Dick
Cheney's lesbian daughter, 'cause by now that cat bite is very
likely infected. But let me just say to America, I am not proposing
a government-run program. That's not what I have”I have Blue
Cross/Blue Shield. Senators and Congressman have a wide
choice. Americans ought to have it, too. Ask yourselves: Do we
really want to live in a country of angry lesbians with untreated
puncture wounds, right down the street from you? I think if you
were to talk to Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, she
would tell you no."