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Topic: Virians & Lightbulbs (Read 1433 times) |
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Hermit
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Virians & Lightbulbs
« on: 2002-04-07 06:13:02 » |
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Question: How many virus list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
Answers:
2,348 - 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed;
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently;
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs;
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs;
53 to flame the spell checkers;
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames;
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb";
another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive;
156 to write to the list administrator about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list;
109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to private mail;
203 to demand that cross posting about changing light bulbs be stopped;
111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this mail list;
501 to point out that because the lightbulb changer was male, and he screwed the lightbulb in the socket, that this proves that everyone (including the females) subscribed to the list enjoys seeing wimmin being raped;
502 to refute the rape theory with 501 new theories - some expressed as trancendental poetry, others in "did so" and "didn't so" terms;
1 to demand that all male lightbulbs be replaced by female lightbulbs;
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty;
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs;
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and the post the corrected URL's;
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list;
33 to link all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers and then add "Me too";
12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy;
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three";
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ;
44 to ask what is "FAQ";
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago on the list?"
143 to ask "what's the definition of a list?"
1 to complain that the total should have been 2347;
1 to point out that the total including the anal-retentive arithmetician and the responder is 2348!
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With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, 1999
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ElvenSage
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Think for yourself, question authority.
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Re:Virians & Lightbulbs
« Reply #1 on: 2002-04-18 11:46:10 » |
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Just wondering... how long did it take you to write that?
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Safe from the pain and truth and choice and other poison devils
See.. they don't give a fuck about you, like i do.
Just stay with me, safe and ignorant,
Go back to sleep
Go Back to sleep
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Hermit
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Re:Virians & Lightbulbs
« Reply #3 on: 2002-04-20 18:58:02 » |
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Not long at all.
I took a list off Usenet, pasted it into Excel to be able to do the arithmetic, added a few lines - and edited some existing ones to inlude topical CoV related issues, and dropped it here. Glad you enjoyed.
Kind Regards
Hermit
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With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, 1999
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David Lucifer
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Enlighten me.
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Re:Virians & Lightbulbs
« Reply #4 on: 2002-04-23 22:31:54 » |
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Here's my first and only lightbulb joke, invented when I was about 15 and based on a news story:
Q: How many Hutterites does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 14 -- 2 to do the screwing, and 12 village elders to watch and make sure they don't have any fun.
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