Re: virus: Working on God

maggs (c680910@showme.missouri.edu)
Sat, 6 Mar 1999 17:18:09 -0600 (CST) 

                         Once upon a time, there was a quiet catholic
neighborhood where holy days of obligation were kept amongst all the inhabitants, Friday fasts were observed and all went to church on Sunday. Then the day came when a Protestant moved into the neighborhood. According to the teachings of the Lord Christ, it was appropriate to be cordial and welcome the Protestant to the neighborhood. And so they did. All was well until the first fateful Friday rolled around. Throughout the neighborhood, the scent of sizzling sirloin could be scented. The chagrinned inhabitants followed their noses to the place of origin which, to no one's great surprise but to their great dismay, the Protestant was barbequeing a thick....thick...thick...juicy....purloined sirloin. The Protestant grinned a Cheshire Cat grin and invited them in. It was a thick....thick...thick steak; enough to feed the masses massing in the yard. The Catholics informed the Protestant that they could not accept the most generous offer and explained why, revealing some of their most secret doctrine and ultimately, convinced the Protestant to investigate their side of the fence further, therefore; the Protestant went through the proper channels to convert to Catholicism.(you see, they could not eat red meat on Friday and if they did God, who loves with an everlasting love, would send them straight to hell, which is a place where they would be barbequed) The inhabitants of the
neighborhood had repreive from the scent of a steak throughout the length of the Protestant's conversion process. The day arrived when the Protestant returned to the neighborhood, a newly confirmed and ordained Catholic. All were joyous the upcoming Friday fast day but the joy did not last. Once again, throughout the neighborhood was the scent of sizzling sirloin. Most distressed, concerned and confused, (and some were even mad) the inhabitants of the neighborhood followed their noses to the residence of the Catholic Protestant's backyard just in time to witness the CP leaning slightly over the sirloin(yes, thick....thick....thick), sprinkling a little water onto the steak and saying,"You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, you are now a fish."

Maggz c680910@showme.missouri.edu

"I am more than what you define and delienate me to be" Elizabeth
Wurtzel