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Topic: Underage Cows Might Have Enjoyed Fellating Cop (Read 978 times) |
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Hermit
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Underage Cows Might Have Enjoyed Fellating Cop
« on: 2009-09-25 23:36:13 » |
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Cow-cop oral sex was no crime
[ Hermit : But the videos are not yet on You Tube ]
Source: Trentonian.com
Authors: Not Individually Blamed (staff and wire)
Dated: 2009-09-25
Because prosecutors couldn’t definitively prove that the oral sex performed on Moorestown Police Officer Robert Melia Jr. by five cows wasn’t consensual, the animal cruelty charges against him were dropped.
Bestiality is legal in New Jersey, so the burden was on the Burlington County Prosecutor team to prove that the five underage cow calves didn’t enjoy fellating Melia.
Judge James Morley ruled Wednesday that prosecutors did not present enough evidence to jurors that Melia’s video-recorded actions constituted torment to the animals on a Southampton farm.
The judge disregarded the prosecutions claims when they reportedly said the suckling calves’ repeated head-butts to the officer’s stomach when they didn’t get their expected drink of milk was a clear indication of at least mild annoyance to the cows.
Melia was charged with tormenting the animals after police found the video footage of the officer and his barnyard pals while they were investigating allegations the officer and his former girlfriend Heather Lewis together molested three young girls.
Those charges remain against the officer.
Images from NY Daily News, calves from GotPetsOnline.com
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With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, 1999
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Hermit
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Re:Underage Cows Might Have Enjoyed Fellating Cop
« Reply #1 on: 2009-09-25 23:57:52 » |
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Old man BillyBob goes and gets a loan from the bank to buy a high priced bull. A few days later, the banker comes along and asks, "How's our bull doing?"
BillyBob says, "Our bull ain't doing too good. I got him out there in the pasture with a bunch of young cows and he don't want nothing to do with them."
The banker says, "You better call the veterinarian."
A couple of days later, the banker comes along again and says, "How's our bull doing now?"
BillyBob says, "Plenty darn good. He has done serviced all of my cows, jumped the fence, and is working on the neighbors' cows."
The banker says, "Wow! What did the Vet give him?"
BillyBob says, "He gave him some pills."
The banker says, "What kind of pills?"
BillyBob says, "I don't know, but they tasted sort of like peppermint. "
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?
In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in he head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you." The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river.
Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river.
The youngest son, woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in.
And there he also met the Mermaid. "I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row."
The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?"
The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?"
Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health."
Then the young fellow asked, "Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"
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With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, 1999
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