"We think in generalities, we live in details"
A Scale of Fail
« on: 2009-06-19 03:19:13 »
[Blunderov] (The following picture could well be of me in my recent loss, again, of a completely won game. Simply replace the keyboard with a chess board and it's me to the life...)
A Scale of Fail
Source: Entropic Memes Authors: Nemo Dated: 18 June 2009, 11:17:47 PM
I’ve been thinking that the current kind of arbitrary hierarchy of fails:
FAIL EPIC FAIL OMGWTFBBQ* FAIL
…really isn’t nuanced enough for the comparative analysis of failures. The first solution that presents itself is to use modifiers:
And, what the hell, maybe an OMGWTFBBQ FAIL++ (pronounced “double-plus OMGWTFBBQ fail”, natch) for the truly stupendous failures of the world.
That got me wondering, though - might numbers be better?
Something like:
Fail Level I: No harm, no foul, no witnesses.
Fail Level II: That’s going to leave a mark; good thing nobody saw.
Fail Level III: There are witnesses, but they were at least peripherally involved.
Fail Level IV: People are pointing and laughing.
Fail Level V: People are pointing and laughing at your discomfort. Expect to see yourself on YouTube very, very soon.
Fail Level VI: Phew! Two feet to the left, or ten seconds later, and that would have gone Very Horribly Wrong(TM). You’ll be bragging about that one, eventually.
Fail Level VII: Significant property damage is involved. There will be a police report. Expect to see your name in the local newspaper.
Fail Level VIII: Nobody dies, but only because God must really love drunks and idiots. Expect to see yourself on the evening news. “Let us never mention this incident EVAR AGAIN!!!11.”.
Fail Level IX: Everybody who survives is going to go to jail… for a very long time. Never mind that it was probably already illegal; the state legislature is probably going to ban what you just did.
Fail Level X: Nobody connected to the fail lives long enough to realize their error.
Bonus points:
If you were drunk or otherwise chemically impaired at the time, increase one level. If you have a mullet, increase one level. If your FAIL is prefaced with some variation of “watch this!”, increase one level. If your FAIL involves actual or attempted sexual activity, increase two levels.
This means that if you are drunk, have a mullet, are making an amateur pr0n tape involving some sort of incredibly perverted and dangerous kinkiness, tell the camera “watch this!”, and you, your partner, and anyone else involved die instantly as a result of your idiocy, you could in theory wind up with a Level XV FAIL.
If that’s not an OMGWTFBBQ++ FAIL, I don’t know what is…
<snip>History GRR TO THE MAXIMUM DARKSIDE YOU ALL WILL BE POSSESED NOT REALLY OMGWTFBBQ IS FOR TEH NUBZ!!11!!ONE
T3h phr4s3 0r91n4t3d wh3n 4 t0t4l n00bz0rz 3n73r3d a l337 0nl1n3 94m1n9 4r3||4 4nd w4s pwnz3d. 1t 15 5t1ll u||5ur3 Y BBQ m4d3 1t 1||t0 t3h 4cr0||ym. 50m3 5p3cul8 t4ht t3h N00b w45 hu||9ry, 0th3r5 t4ht h3 w45 t4k3n-4b4ck 4nd w4s 5tru99l1ng 2 d35cr1b3 w4ht h3 w45 5331n9. Either way be glad it was BBQ, because it may have been CLR or FTP or worse.</snip>
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, 1999
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, 1999